The Lies We Tell
by Jasmine Syms
Summary: Leo has become detached since he returned to Camp Half-Blood. He is definitely hiding something big- something he is really upset about. He tries to hide behind smiles and "I'm fine"s, but some are less than thrilled at his utter lack of honesty. (self-hate, esp in later chapters)
1. Chapter 1

**fun fact: i do not own heroes of olympus or percy jackson. the more you know...**

* * *

Leo Valdez was not proud to say that the delay of his return had little to do with the differences in time on Ogygia. He had not broken down more than expected, and he knew he could have been back within three days, but his trip took a whole two weeks. After the first night, he was hesitant to face his friends again. He felt guilty for it, but he stalled as much as he could. He knew that if this happened to one of them, he would want to know that they were alive as soon as possible. Really, he should have let them know before he left to save Calypso. Ah well, how worried could they be about him? It's not like he was the most important in the crew.

He shook his head. _Still, it's not okay to push off meeting them for this long._ _You're a piece of shit, Valdez._

He sighed and whispered "I know" under his breath.

"What?" Calypso asked from behind him.

"Nothing." He muttered. He turned his head to look at her disappointed face. He had been practically ignoring her for a week and a half, but he couldn't bring himself to communicate. _Pathetic._

"We'll- uh- we'll land at Camp Half-Blood in about fifteen minutes." He bit his lip. _That's all you can think to say? This is your girlfriend. Speak._

A thousand silent apologies went through his head, mixing with insults directed towards himself. He just wasn't good at speaking out loud since that dream.

* * *

It was the first night with Calypso off the island, and he felt as if he had finally done something right. He didn't screw it up. A beautiful girl was with him and with every mile they flew her face lit up in astonishment at the expanse before her, waiting to be explored. When he returned he would be a hero. He landed and found a place to rest. A few repairs would be needed in the morning if he wanted to fly the long distance back to camp, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

He could feel the joy radiating off Calypso as she brushed her hand across the walls of the old warehouse they had found. He smiled as he lied down and closed his eyes.

His dream was not quite as cheerful as that day's reality. It was dark and he was alone until a figure appeared from the shadows.

"Leo Valdez." The voice echoed through his mind. It got just bright enough for him to make out his face.

"Hades?" He was thoroughly confused, why would the god want to talk to him?

"I must start by saying that this is by no means personal, I do appreciate you defeating Gaea and I do consider you a hero for it. Normally, you would be practically guaranteed a spot in Elysium. That is why I have personally come to warn you and are even allowing you to live until you die by yourself, instead of killing you right here."

Leo's heart started pounding. No. Not when everything had started to be perfect. There couldn't be a catch, he deserved a happy ending.

"I regret to inform you that as you have so blatantly cheated death, you must be sent straight to the Fields of Punishment when you die. I can't tolerate people coming back to life all the time, and so you will skip the judges and go straight to your eternal torture. Don't look at me like that, all surprised, you know I let some people get away with it during that Thanatos incident because that was a special case, but if I let any more people get away with cheating death _everyone'_s going to try it, and I don't have time to deal with that. I don't get enough respect as it is."

"I- I-" Leo struggled to push the words out. "I didn't mean it as an insult to you. I just had to fulfill my promise. I-"

"That is of no importance. The fact is that you escaped my domain back to the realm of life at a time when you would have been condemned to eternal punishment for breaking an oath you swore on the River Styx. You fulfilled it after coming back, but really it makes it appear as if you escaped to avoid the Fields of Punishment. If I let you just get judged normally next time you die, it reflects poorly on me. Like I said, my brothers already look down upon me, I can't afford to lose any more respect. This is not personal. I don't believe that you deserve this, but not everything's fair. I warned you, and that is as good of a deal as you will get."

"But-" Leo had started to speak, but the god had started to disappear. He woke to find that Calypso was sound asleep next to him. He checked the time. He had been out for about an hour. Funny, the rushed excuses the god gave him seemed like they would have only filled three minutes or less. Though sometimes dreams can seem to last hours and when you wake up it was only fifteen minutes, and vice versa. Time was weird in dreams. Almost like Ogygia.

Leo got off the ground and walked outside, making sure not to wake Calypso. He stared at the night sky, his face blank for a long time. He could barely process what had happened, but when it finally hit him, the tears started to fall. He cried and cried and kicked the ground and set himself on fire.

He could understand when his friends would often ignore him in favor of their dates. He wasn't that interesting, it made sense that they wouldn't want to talk to him all that much. He didn't deserve great friends, he deserved to be a seventh wheel.

He could understand that he would be the best man to risk his life in the final battle. He was the one who most deserved to not make it. If the physician's cure didn't work, at least no one would have lost the person that meant the most to them. He was sure that even Calypso would have found someone else, he made sure to program Festus to get her off that island with or without him.

What he could not understand, however, was how he deserved eternal torture. He thought that when he risked his life it would have made up for everything. He thought it would at least get him to Asphodel.

Over the next two weeks it never left his mind that no matter what he did he would be sent to the Fields of Punishment. He could save the world and risk his life a thousand times and it would not make a bit of a difference.

It even crept into his dreams. He had nightmares where he saw nothing but felt pain running through different parts of his body, as if an unseen creature were cutting him with a knife. He had screamed when he woke up, and Calypso held him and asked what was wrong, but he pushed her away and said he just panicked a little. He was unable to even pretend he was fine after that, so he kept his mouth shut. All he could think about was how real those dreams felt, and how maybe it was just a taste of his future. Hades deciding to send a sample every now and then so he doesn't forget.

Leo shook himself out of his thoughts. They were coming up on the camp. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for his friends' reactions, and went in for a landing.


	2. Chapter 2

They burned his burial shroud a few days ago, about two weeks after the others. They should have known that they wouldn't feel the same sense of closure when they watched his shroud be eaten by the flames. It felt wrong- Leo Valdez couldn't burn and he couldn't be captured well enough in anything that did. Leo was the fire. It didn't actually hit them that he was gone until the flames died down, with nothing left to consume. That was when the tears fell.

Still, they found themselves hoping. As long as no body was found, they found themselves focused on the small possibility that he is out there somewhere, alive and well. None of them would admit this out loud, but they all knew the others were holding out for a miracle as well.

Jason and Piper were about to leave for Camp Jupiter to start planning construction for the shrines for the minor gods and goddesses.

What was left of the seven gathered to see them off. Piper was getting teary eyed as she hugged everyone goodbye. They hadn't even known each other that long, but the seven had been together through unimaginable things. They formed a bond that was incredibly strong, and for them to separate means the bond will start fading into a memory. Of course they would keep up with each other and visit both camps, but it would never be the same, especially since one link in the chain was gone completely. Their best days together were over, and none of them wanted to be the ones to officiate that, but Jason and Piper had work to do.

Everyone seemed on the verge of tears. Piper had only Hazel left.

"Frank and I will meet up with you in a few days. We just wanted to stay a little longer." Hazel told her. She and Frank had come back from Camp Jupiter for Leo's ceremony and they couldn't bring themselves to leave again just yet. Piper nodded and brought her into a hug, whispering into her ear. "If you see him, smack him upside the head for me."

Hazel gave a chuckle that turned into a sob. She lowered her voice. "Nico told me the other day he snuck down to the Underworld just to make sure and he couldn't find him. He didn't want to tell anyone in case he missed, but I can't let you leave without knowing that."

Piper pulled back and stared Hazel in the eyes, barely containing a grin. Leo Valdez was not in the Underworld.

With that, Piper let go of Hazel and waved back to the rest before she put her hand in Jason's and turned to get on the pegasus they were riding to Camp Jupiter.

Just as Jason was about to mount the pegasus, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see a fire in the sky, and when that died down he could see the glint of light bouncing off metal. His eyes widened as slowly the shape of a metal dragon came into focus.

"No way." Jason whispered. He and Piper started walking away from the pegasus and back towards the others. "He did it." He said, his voice still low. The next time he practically yelled it. "He did it! My gods, Leo did it! He's back!" He hugged Piper and spun her around, dancing and laughing. Similar expressions of joy were displayed by the rest of the seven, and all around camp people were looking into the sky and whooping and hollering. A crowd started to form near the Seven, everyone wanted to see the hero's return.

* * *

Leo was getting closer and closer to landing. He gave one last sigh and mumbled "Here goes nothing" as he plastered a fake smile on his face. He wouldn't want them to see how upset he was and get suspicious. They didn't have to know what was going to happen to him, they had enough to worry about. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time he had fooled them with a fake grin and a few jokes.

When he landed Festus, people were already gathering around. "Guys, please, let a hero have his space. Don't worry, you'll all get a chance to get the Valdezinator's autograph." He gave a slight chuckle before hopping down and offering Calypso a hand to help her off. She gave him a bizarre look, probably wondering why he suddenly was in such a good mood after barely speaking for days, but she took his hand anyway.

He had barely managed to help her down before he was basically tackled by Piper. She crushed him in a hug and harshly spoke into his ear. "Don't you ever do that again, Valdez." He laughed because he felt a ridiculous amount of charmspeak in her words. He wasn't going to be able to leave them any time soon without letting them know he was okay first. He felt a second person join the hug, then another. He pulled back from the slowly growing group hug and held up his hands.

"Ladies, please, wait your turn. There's plenty of me to go around. Besides, I think you're starting to make my girlfriend jealous."

Jason had just started to look mock-offended at being called a lady for joining in the hug when his attention was shifted towards Calypso. Piper was the first to go up to her and shake her hand.

"So this is the girl Leo was brooding over. Nice to meet you."

Calypso looked mildly uncomfortable with the situation and kept shooting Leo odd looks, but she blushed and replied to her. "It's nice to meet you. Leo talked about his friends a lot on the island."

And so it went like this, people hugging Leo and moving on to introduce themselves to Calypso. Hazel smacked him in the face before hugging him. "You couldn't have told us you were okay before you left? Frank and I were so worried because we- we let you do that, we just let you go through with your ridiculous plan. Leo, don't you dare do that ever again."

Leo was surprised to see Frank crying when he went to hug him. "What's the matter big guy, you spent most of our adventure wanting to get rid of me." Frank only hugged him tighter. "Alright dude, are you happy I'm back or are you trying to squish me to death?"

Frank pulled back and blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Hey man, it's alright. Just try not to squish my girlfriend when you say hi to her, okay?"

Frank nodded and Jason finally got his chance to have a word with his best friend. He nearly crushed him in a hug. "Geez, I just got done telling this to Frank. You guys are going to squish me to death and that would be pretty stupid. Leo Valdez- comes back from the dead only to die from being hugged too hard. Doesn't sound all too awesome."

Jason pulled back but kept his hands on Leo's shoulders and stared into his eyes. Leo felt the urge to look away. "How did you do it? No one was with you, how-"

"Come on buddy, if I tell you now I'm gonna have to tell everyone individually. We'll have story time later, and you can tell me why you and Piper were trying to hitch a ride out of here on a pegasus before I got back." He gave a fake pout. "Were you trying to avoid me? How rude. Now move along, you're holding the line up." He pushed him out of the way to reveal Percy and Annabeth, who hugged him at the same time.

"Saved the world and survived. I knew you could do it." Percy said into his ear at the same time Annabeth asked "I tried to think of any way you could have survived and I came up with nothing. I guess you outsmarted me." Leo actually laughed at the idea. No one outsmarted Annabeth.

They pulled back and went on to talk to Calypso together. Percy started by apologizing, but Calypso stopped him.

"I don't blame you for leaving. You had to. Besides, it took a little longer than it would have if you checked up on the gods and their promises, but I am off the island."

Annabeth cleared her throat. "I don't blame you for cursing me. I probably would be bitter too if I had to spend thousands of years alone on an island."

Percy spoke up. "So, no hard feelings between us?"

"No hard feelings." Calypso agreed.

* * *

Nico walked up to Leo. "I sensed your death."

"Yeah, well I _did_ die at one point, so…"

"But I couldn't shake this feeling that something was different. So I went down to the Underworld to look for you, and my father- he wouldn't talk to me about what happened. So I looked all over Elysium for you and-"

Leo's face fell and he mumbled something under his breath. Nico stopped abruptly.

"Wh-what?"

"Nothing." He tried to put on a smile again, but he couldn't seem to make it as convincing as before. He went to talk to Piper again, who slapped him this time, but Nico knew what he heard. He hoped he was wrong, though.

"You were looking in the wrong place anyway."


	3. Chapter 3

Piper offered a welcome distraction for Leo so he could avoid the waiting conversation with Nico, but she had some questions of her own.

"You know, I got so happy seeing you I forgot to yell at you properly." She slapped him in the face. Hard. He rubbed his cheek.

"Nice to see you too."

"And what the hell were you _thinking_? First, you pull this ridiculous stunt, and _then_, to top it off, you go off to some island and don't come back for _two fucking weeks_ and you-" She swallowed, starting to sob. "You didn't think that _maybe_, before you go running off, you could _fucking stop to tell your friends you're alive_? Gods, Leo, I don't understand. I don't understand how you can go and do the most _fucking_ selfless act ever, but then a minute later you just decide to _forget_ about all the other people here who spent _weeks_ thinking you were dead. That's honestly the most disgusting thing you've ever done. You know, all that time I spent hoping you'd somehow come back, I never realized how _fucking angry_ i should be at you for pulling this shit, but now I'm just getting more _pissed_ every second I think about it. You don't _ever _do this again, Valdez, you don't ever run away without telling us, you can talk to us Leo. You don't have to go sacrifice yourself and be the _brave_ hero and dash off without telling us a _bit_ of your plan. You- I'm so mad at you, I can barely even look at you." She was choking on her words and sobbing, but the campers were all silent as they listened to her yell.

Leo swallowed a lump in his throat. He was crying now too. _Good job, Valdez, you managed to screw everything up. Again. _"I- I'm sorry, Pipes, I didn't think you guys really cared that much." _Really, it's a wonder how they care at all._

The camp was totally silent for a moment, and Piper's mouth opened as if to say something, then shut again. Her hands clenched at her sides and before anyone could figure out what she was going to do, she raised a fist and socked him in the face.

"How?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but gradually grew louder. "How were we so _absolutely_ terrible to you that you would think we wouldn't care to know if you lived or died? Are we that terrible of friends?"

"No, I-" Leo couldn't make the rest of the sentence come out. _I thought it must have been that you only talked to me because you felt you had to. No one could actually want to be friends with an annoying little brat who manages to screw everything up. _"I didn't think. I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd be gone that long"

"_That's_ your explanation? You didn't think? I-"

"Stop it, Piper." Jason finally intervened. "I get that you're upset. I'm angry too, but come on, Leo's alive. He screwed up, and you don't have to forgive him yet, but you don't want to spend this time we got with him yelling at him. He knows he screwed up, so we don't have to get hung up on this anymore."

As he looked into her eyes, the anger slowly left as she saw his reasoning. "You're- you're right. Leo, I'm sorry for yelling so much it's just- you can't do that, okay? I- I'm going to give you some space. I'll talk to you at dinner."

With that Jason and Piper walked away, and the group started to disperse as the "welcome party" mood was destroyed because a lot of them agreed with Piper, and she hadn't even used charmspeak. They couldn't understand why Leo didn't spare five minutes of his time to check in before leaving.

* * *

Nico was distracted for most of the argument. He couldn't seem to figure out what Leo had said, or, more accurately, he didn't like the answers.

Could Leo believe that he doesn't deserve Elysium? No, that's not possible, he saved the world. He's a hero.

One thing nagged at him though. _An oath to keep with a final breath._ He had sworn to save Calypso, that much had spread throughout the entire camp. He didn't fulfill that oath before he died. Nico sucked in a breath. Breaking an oath was instant Fields of Punishment. How long was Leo dead before he left? Had he actually experienced- no. He must have been an exception. He saved the _world_, that would have still gotten to Elysium, right? He wasn't sure, though, that his dad would show so much mercy. He wouldn't dare give him Fields of Punishment, but he might have stuck him in Asphodel. He would have to talk to his dad sometime to make sure next time Leo dies he ends up where he really belongs.

Eventually his attention was brought to Piper shouting at Leo. He watched as the boy shrunk back and started to cry, clearly wanting to run from the situation. He frowned as he heard his voice saying how he didn't think they would care that much when he left without telling them. His voice sounded so broken. Something was definitely bothering him.

Something else was very wrong about him. His hands. They were almost still, shaking, but not building anything. He'd have to keep an eye on him, get him alone at some point to talk to him, find out what's wrong. Hopefully it had nothing to do with Hades, even as his child Nico had trouble reasoning with him.

The group dispersed, and Nico knew that now wasn't the time to confront Leo. After getting yelled at with everyone watching, anyone would want to be alone. He figured Leo would tell his basic story to his friends at dinner, and Nico would talk to him after to get the details he knew the boy would purposely leave out.

For now, though, Nico offered to show Calypso to an empty room at the Big House until they figured out where she could stay.

* * *

**sorry this is a rlly crappy chapter but i thought that after the "yay leo's alive" fog cleared someone would start getting super pissed**

**also pls review an angel is born every time u leave a review on a story**

**and killua minamoto**

** yes it's going to be a few more chapters before that happens but that conversation definitely will take place i can't wait to write it**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello, my darlings. I'm sorry I took so long on this update, but *school stuff* and all the stuff i have to do before i graduate are annoying. so alright**

**FPSCanarussia i'm happy you think so because i am always worried about writing everyone out of character**

**killua ah yeah sorry like i said im always thinking im going to write someone out of character ad there it is i guess. idk i kind of pictured piper as just getting super pissed in the moment. i like to think piper can be the scariest and angriest one of the seven if she wants, like no one wants to get on her bad side, but i might have gotten carried away. and i only answered you because i don't like replying to generic comments, pretty much. i mean i love all comments, but it feels so uncomfortable trying to respond to multiple variations of "great job" u feel. ur super cool, but i feel i had to explain that so no one gets upset that i only reply to certain people lol**

**anon same tbh i just want all the fun sad stuff to happen but? i have to write all this other stuff first? ughhhhh i just want to have them find out already**

* * *

"He wouldn't talk to me." Calypso decided to talk to Nico when they got out of earshot from everyone else.

"Who?" He could have sworn Percy went up to greet Calypso earlier, and she didn't exactly know anyone else here.

"Leo. He barely said anything to me the whole trip back. He was fine the first day, though. Something happened. Something's really bugging him, and I just don't understand how he can be miserable and barely able to speak to me for weeks, then when he gets back here he just plasters on a smile and pretends everything's fine. He probably wouldn't want me telling you this even, as he put on such a show for all of you, but I'm worried about him."

Nico crinkled his eyebrows. "Do you have any ideas about what's made him so upset?"

"None. All I know is he has nightmares about it and-"

Nico stopped walking abruptly. "Nightmares?" It had to be something to do with the afterlife. He wanted to deny it, but for something to affect Leo this much, it was likely he may have died and experienced Punishment due to his unfulfilled oath before he received the Cure. It would make sense, then, that he would have nightmares about the experience.

Calypso stopped next to him. "Yes. He would wake up screaming and crying and he wouldn't tell me why. I figured he could have been reliving the battle where he- died."

Of course. Nico had been so quick to assume his father had done something wrong, but he had forgotten about all the people in the camp who wake up screaming because they had nightmares about the battle a few weeks ago. Some still dreamed about fighting Kronos. He had forgotten how common nightmares are with demigods who had been through so much. Still, he wanted to talk with Leo later, as demigod nightmares are often significant and if he wasn't _reliving_ something, he might be _pre-living_ it, and Nico was sure the camps didn't need a surprise disaster right now.

Nico shook his head. "Well, anyway, your room is just around this corner. I'll let you know when to come down the dining pavilion." Calypso frowned when she turned into the room and Nico turned around to leave.

"I'll try to look into what's up with Leo, get him to really smile again, okay? Right this moment I think he needs his space. Besides, I sort of have plans to hang out with my boyfriend really soon and I-"

"Go." She smiled at him.

* * *

Leo went down to Bunker 9 after everyone split up. He figured there wouldn't be so many people working down there right _after _the big battle. Luckily he had assumed correctly- the place was empty. He curled into a ball and sobbed.

_Piper hates you now. You can't do anything right. _"I know."

_You couldn't have sent an Iris message to let them know you were alive? You screwed everything up._ "I know."

_You don't deserve them as your friends. Perhaps it's better now that they hate you completely. You would never have belonged. The seventh wheel. They're all heroes, and you're- _"A failure."

_You should just run away, like you always do. They'd all be better off without having to put up with your shit._

He kept sobbing, until he heard someone call his name. "Leo?"

He grabbed a greasy rag out of his toolbelt and wiped his face with it, getting rid of the tears and hoping the dirt would distract from his red and puffy eyes. He cleared his throat before answering. "Yes?"

"It's me, Piper." She said as she came around the corner. "I wanted to talk about earlier before we went to dinner. I thought you might have come down here." She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I exploded at you earlier, I was -"

"It's not a problem, Beauty Queen. Forget about it." He put on his best smile as he got to his feet.

"No, Leo, I shouldn't have done-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Leo,I can't see that well through all that dirt, but I'm pretty sure I bruised your face. It's not fine." Leo opened his mouth to respond, but she held a finger up to stop him. "Just listen. I don't know why I flipped out like that. It's just- I was so happy to see you alive,but then I started thinking about how you were alive the _whole_ time, and you didn't give us an explanation for not calling, and I got so angry. I- Leo, I thought you could have _died._ I was so worried and frustrated, and I guess it just all came up at once. But it's because I care about you, Leo. I just want to make it clear that I was just mad at you. You're my best friend and I love you. We all do. And when you said you didn't think we would care that much, I freaked out. I was angry at myself with just the thought that I must have not paid attention enough or talked to you enough that you knew I cared, and I took it out on you. And I'm not that mad at you anymore. You just made a mistake. I made a mistake in punching you. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry, alright?" She opened her arms for a hug, and Leo put his arms around her and whispered in her ear "Don't be sorry, Pipes. I understand. I kind of deserve a punch in the face every now and then."

Piper scrunched up her nose a bit because _that wasn't the message she was trying to send_, but before she could say anything else, Leo pulled out of the hug and said "Well, it's about time we should start going to dinner, isn't it?" And started walking off. Piper sighed and followed him.

* * *

**pssssst commenting is good for the soul 100% scientifically proven**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ah, I'm taking so long to update lately. Sorry, lots of stuff happening so close to graduation. I swear as soon as summer comes i will write a lot more.**

**FPSCanaRussia- calm down there it's not going to be that extreme. it'll be pretty extreme but not THAT extreme.**

**Aight guys enjoy and review pls**

* * *

The moment Leo finished eating he stood up on the table and banged his silverware against his goblet.

"Hear ye, hear ye!" He shouted to get their attention. When the talking died down he continued, smiling.

"I suppose you all want to know my heroic tale of how I rescued Calypso and why I took so long getting back. I'll give you guys the short version so we can skip to the partying quickly. So, I managed to not stay dead because I programmed Festus to give me the cure when I died- yeah, pretty impressive, right? Come on, you can applaud, it's alright." He paused a moment and grinned even wider as his friends cheered.

"Then, I made it back to Ogygia, another thing that is typically considered impossible, but hey, that never stopped me before. I picked up my beautiful girlfriend, Calypso. Where are you, come on up here with me," He gave her a hand to help her up onto the table, "Here she is, the most gorgeous, most amazing, most talented, most perfect girl in the world. And, in a strange turn of events, she ended up dating me. Yeah, I know, she's totally out of my league, but somehow she manages to put up with me." Calypso elbowed him in the side and he laughed.

It was a few moments before he continued. "And you know, I'd like to say that I took so long getting back because of the whole 'time is different on Ogygia' excuse, but I would be lying. We only lost about two days on Ogygia, and we only ran into a few monsters, no more than is to be expected, and nothing especially difficult to defeat. We ran into a few mechanical problems too, but the truth is I stalled a lot. We could have made it here over a week ago but I made the trip last longer, because-" _Because you were too scared to face them after you found out you would be facing eternal punishment as soon as you die again? No, don't want to tell them that one. How about the second reason?_ "I was scared. I knew the battle had casualties, but I didn't know how many, or who had died. I was staying away because I knew when I came back everything would be real. Whoever died would be dead, not just 'possibly dead' or anything. It was a pretty selfish move on my part, but I just needed a few extra days before facing who died." He took a breath. _The people who could have used the Cure if you weren't so selfish. One less would have died if you would have just accepted your fate. And they probably had no current promises sworn on Styx, so they could have gotten out of Punishment by explaining themselves to Hades. _"So, yeah. I hope you all can forgive me for staying away so long and-" He was cut off by Hazel, who had stepped up onto his table and wrapped him in a hug.

"I forgive you." She whispered. They got down from the table in time for Leo to be attacked by other people hugging him.

"Come on guys, give the hero some space." Leo said with a smile.

* * *

Later, the campfire roared higher than it had in weeks. Even Leo shared some genuine laughs with his friends. Still, he was the first to sneak away the moment everyone else was busy talking to their other friends. He thought no one was watching him when he left to get some air.

He went to the outskirts of the forest and sat with his back against a tree. He sighed deeply and started to run a hand through his hair.

"How long were you dead?" A voice rang out through the dark, startling him.

Leo let out a short, high-pitched shriek before leaping to his feet and grabbing for something from his toolbelt.

"Relax. It's just me." Nico walked into his line of sight and when Leo made a flame appear on his hand he could make out his face.

"Oh. Hi, Nico." He turned the flame off. "What are you doing out here?"

"Following you. I wanted to talk to you and I knew being alone would be my only chance of ever getting real answers from you."

Leo raised an eyebrow. "Questions about what?"

"How long were you dead?" Nico repeated himself from before, not wasting any time working back up to it.

"Um, a few seconds only? Why?" Leo's confusion convinced Nico he was telling the truth on this question. If he were hiding something about that, he would sound more defensive if asked it first thing. Nico sighed in relief, thinking at least what was bothering Leo didn't have to do with the Underworld.

"Why are you so upset, even after reuniting with your best friends and having Calypso here with you?"

Leo's heart sped up. "I'm not upset about anything." He put up the best fake smile he could manage at the moment, because he felt like the other boy could see his face perfectly even through the dark.

"That's bullshit." Nico whispered.

"What?" Leo's smile faltered.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm no-"

"What have you built today?" Silence fell over the two after Nico's question. Leo looked at the ground.

"Nothing." He whispered.

"See, something's really bugging you, and you think your friends won't notice but we do. I've never seen you this upset before, and you have to know that you can tell us. We will do everything we can to help you, you just need to let us."

Leo considered telling him for a moment, then decided against it. _They can't help you. Not even the son of Hades can change his father's mind, so don't bother worrying them._ "I'm just thinking a lot about the campers who died. I'll be fine I just haven't had any time to get over it yet. Seeing the place missing all these wonderful faces you know are never coming back, it's just wrong." He lied smoothly, probably because it wasn't much of a lie. That was bothering him too, just not as much as the- other- thing.

"What were your nightmares about?"

Leo snapped his head up to look at him. "How did you kn-"

"Calypso. She's worried about you, you'd wake up screaming and then not talk to her about it."

"Nothing!" He said, too fast. "They're- They were nothing important. Just-" He said the first thing he could think of that would make sense with everything else he told Nico. "Just was reliving the battle. Sometimes it went like it normally did, with me dying and coming back, which is bad enough, but sometimes- sometimes I'd see it different ways, like with Jason and Piper getting killed, or Percy, or Hazel, any one of my friends. I just- I wasn't sure that you guys made it, so my brain got carried away when I fell asleep I guess." He looked up to see if Nico was buying the excuse but couldn't make out his expression.

"I'm sorry, Leo." He brought him into a hug and for the first time Leo noticed he was crying. Whether it was because he was thinking about what he was hiding or the truth of most of the excuses he gave, he didn't know. _Gods, he's going to think you're a wimp who can't handle a few bad dreams. Not that you aren't, but still… What if he tells the others that you're just a crybaby?_

Leo pulled back from Nico. "Can you- not tell the others about this?"

"Leo, you can't just hide everythin-"

"Please!" He begged. "Just for a little while, I swear. I'll be over it all soon anyway, I just- I don't want to be surrounded by people who feel bad for me, you know?"

He paused before answering. "Fine, but you should really tell your girlfriend soon. She's especially worried.

"Okay, done."

"Alright, I guess we should be getting back to the fire now, then. They're probably waiting for you to come back. You're sort of a big deal tonight."

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Leo made a dramatic gesture with his hand to his forehead. "Can this be true, or did the lack of light trick me? Did Nico Di Angelo actually- smile?"

Nico elbowed him in the side. "Yeah, I did. I've actually smiled a lot lately. Even laughed a few times."

"No! It can't be true! What miracle could possibly have caused this?"

"I have a boyfriend now. He makes me smile a lot. And he yelled at me for being all self-sacrificial. And he reminds me that people care about me and pushing them away isn't helping anyone and little by little, he's teaching me to like myself."

"You got a boyfriend? Nice."

"Leo, I'm trying to make a point here. You need someone, be it Calypso or just a friend, who you can talk to and tell them the truth so they can help you through things and smack you when you're being a doofus who thinks you don't matter as much as you do. You can't just smile and lie to everyone and handle your problems all on your own."

"…So, who's your boyfriend?"

"That's not the poi-"

"What's his naaaaammmee?" Leo taunted.

"Fine. Will Solace. But don't think that this is over."

"I should have seen it. You guys are perfect for each other, I know it."

"Yeah, alright. Just one last thing I forgot to ask."

"Yeah, what?"

"What did you mean when you said I wasn't looking in the right place anyway?"

"W-what?" Leo asked, knowing exactly what he meant.

"I said I looked all over Elysium for you, and you mumbled that I was looking in the wrong place anyway what-"

"Oh, I don't know. It was probably a bad attempt at a joke or something. I don't really remember saying it." He spoke too fast, obviously lying. "We better get back to the fire now, shall we? I'll race ya!" And he was off before Nico could reply.


	6. Chapter 6

**alright so I was going to do another chapter before this one with nico talking to will abt how he's worried abt leo and all that and leo having another nightmare and ppl being worried but I am getting impatient and I want the secrets spilled already, you know? Also I am getting less and less time to work on this and without the extra motivation of getting to the exciting chapters im afraid I'll just abandon it bc im so lazy lmao.**

**Speaking of motivation thank you to everyone who has been reviewing! Keep it up (bc without reviews I would probs lose all motivation and stop working. Not like to spite readers for not reviewing but I actually need u guys for motivation so yeah thanks guys!)**

**Killua yeah sorry I've been getting swamped with school stuff lately with finals and graduation coming up so it's taking me a long time to update each time :( and I tend to write short chapters, it's a bad habit of mine, sorry lol**

**WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING:**

**THIS CHAPTER IS THE WORST IN TERMS OF SELF-HATRED.**

**ALSO INCLUDES CHILD ABUSE AND THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE**

**IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED PLEASE DO NOT READ.**

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Months had gone by, and the nightmares had become more frequent. It seemed it was almost every night now that Leo would wake up screaming and crying from some sick form of torture. Luckily he had thought ahead. So no one would hear him and ask questions, he thoroughly soundproofed the walls to his private room his bunk retracted into. He certainly didn't want anyone getting worried about him and becoming more of a burden than he already is.

Grease was constantly smeared on his face so no one would notice the dark bags under his eyes from avoiding sleep so often, and even though he was spending less time in the bunker working on projects than ever, no one questioned it. And, of course, he never forgot to smile. Laugh and smile, and no one will notice the pain you're in.

Still, there were the occasions when someone would ask him what was wrong. His face would falter for a moment before coming up with a distraction. "You know me, Beauty Queen, I just can't help but get distracted by Jason's beautiful face, you know? His dreamy eyes and gorgeous hair, oh wait, that's you." He got elbowed in the side for that one. "Sorry Callie, I just get lost in thought thinking about all the awesome gadgets I'm going to make!" "I'm just peachy, Death Breath, how are things with your boyfriend?"

And so he hid his secrets for these months, but he should have known it was just all building up to this. Looking back, he can never say that it was a sudden reveal. Unexpected, yes, but if it hadn't happened that day, someone would have found out soon after.

Jason and Piper had set up a system with the two camps. They had, of course, begun by setting up a plan for Kymopoleia's cabin and shrine at Camp Half-Blood. While overseeing the building, they had begun plans for Kym's Roman shrine and a shrine for another Roman god. So it would go, they would bounce from camp to camp and have huge parties upon the completion of each shrine where half of everyone's tribute of food would go to the god whose shrine had just been finished. Everyone from both camps was invited to attend, but Leo was the only one (besides Piper and Jason of course) who always managed to drag himself to every party.

He was really regretting going to this particular party.

It had been at Camp Jupiter, in honor of Veritas, the Roman goddess of truth. The Seven all sat together, along with Calypso, Nico, and Will. They had all been laughing as they were served, but things went wrong soon after.

Leo had been forced by Piper to clean his face off this time when he came to the party, and though he even stole some makeup from an Aphrodite girl back at camp to put under his eyes, he still got questioned about his sleep schedule, particularly by Nico.

"If it's the nightmares that are bothering you, we can get a Hypnos kid to help you out." Nico suggested as he followed Leo to put their tribute in the flames.

Leo almost seemed to consider this, but realized that a demigod of Hypnos stopping nightmares might involve them seeing what the nightmares were about. "I'm fine." He insisted as he slid part of his food into the fire. Big mistake.

The fire started to spark and grow angrily until it was well over ten feet tall. Demigods backed away some and drew their weapons. Leo was the only one to not take a step back (not that he didn't want to, but he had a reputation to uphold. The flame boy couldn't exactly be seen backing up from a fire because it was a little intimidating) and soon the fire died down to reveal a very pissed off goddess.

She was dressed in a suit, and had not a spot of color on her from head to toe. Even Her skin was a dark grey hue, as if she stepped out of a black and white film.

"Leo Valdez." She glared at him and he swallowed hard. He didn't know who she was, but looking her in the eye was the most terrifying thing he has ever done.

"How. Dare. You." She said slowly. "I am neglected enough in this day and age but blatantly lying as you make a tribute to me? That's a direct insult, and you are going to pay the consequences."

"V- Veritas?" He asked.

"Of course. You have been none too kind to me, Leo. I get swamped with your lies and secrets. Do you know how hard it is to keep track of everyone's dishonesty? Oh, the files, and the paperwork, and your name just keeps popping up. And then you pull this. So how about we clean out your file? Make every large secret you've kept known to the world, so it won't have to stay cluttering up my file cabinets." She gave a smile and snapped her fingers, making a file cabinet appear beside her that had Leo's name on all four drawers.

Leo was incredibly pale, searching for some way out. He wouldn't try to battle with the goddess, he knew that would only end in others getting hurt. He needed to be anywhere but there. He felt nauseous as Nico stepped forward and leaned into his ear. "What did you do?"

"Oh! Right, I forgot to introduce the guests to the little show we're having tonight. See folks, it's easy to understand once you know that Leo has been lying to you ever since you first met him." A couple angry glances were thrown his way and some started pointing their weapons at him, so the goddess added "Oh, not in the way you're thinking, of course he's loyal to the demigods, but to me this is a matter of great importance all the same."

"Please." Leo tried, hoping that somehow she would take pity on him. His voice sounded weak and whiny, and as he fell to his knees he knew he looked pathetic, but he didn't care. Anything to avoid this. "Don't."

"You should have thought about the consequences before you lied as you were giving tribute to the goddess of truth." She pulled out a drawer from the file cabinet. "Now, let's start at the beginning, shall we? Now, nothing too bad up until your mother died. You kept a lot of secrets about that. How you still think it's all your fault, how you wish it was you who died, how you thought you deserved to die and –ooh- burn in hell for what you did. Yeah, see, this is the kind of thing you tell someone about so they can help you before you spiral into a huge depression, or whatever." She threw a pile of papers into the air and they disintegrated before they hit the ground.

Already worried eyes were focused on Leo. Piper shook her head in disbelief, they had talked about this, she thought he wouldn't blame himself anymore, that he knew it was all Gaea's fault.

"Of course, it's not like your Aunt helped. Turning your family against you, calling you a devil, saying it's all your fault, sending you away to foster homes, that's really just plain cruel. Of course, not as bad as that couple that tried to adopt you!"

Leo froze. Nononono. He had to keep some secrets, this wasn't fair. He slumped down until he was sitting and stared at the ground.

"You would go home and not be able to focus because any moment _he_ would walk through the door and criticize you no matter what you were doing. Working on a machine? 'Stop playing with those toys and do something useful!' Doing homework? 'Reading isn't going to get things done.' Sitting in your room and waiting for him to give you an order? 'What, are you supposed to be fucking royalty? Sitting on your ass while I work my butt off to feed you?' But he didn't want you to actually do work, did he? Because if you were ever in the middle of something important, he'd be mad because he couldn't tear you away from it and make you do what _he_ wanted you to do."

Leo was shaking, whenever Veritas imitated his adoptive father, her voice morphed into his. It had the same angry bellow that made him quake in fear years ago. Piper had gone to hug him, but he pushed her away and moved away from her.

"Stop." Piper commanded. "This is just making him miserable."

"Oh, little girl you should know that charmspeak won't work against truth. I will not stop. He brought this upon himself. Besides, he was already miserable, but maybe now you guys can help him carry his troubles instead of him hiding and bottling everything up. Now, where was I?" She tossed another pile of papers in the air to disappear, and grabbed another stack. "Feels nice to clean this thing out, huh, Leo?" No response came. "Well, I'm enjoying it." She shrugged.

"And he would yell at his wife, too, and you blamed yourself for not standing up and stopping it, but look what happened when you did say something to him. He cracked you with his belt, with the buckle flying around no less, until you couldn't move anymore. Then you blamed yourself for running away when she still had to live with him. Tsk, tsk, I'm starting to see a real theme here- bad things happen to Leo, and he thinks it's his fault. Nice."

"Stop being so smug about everything!" Annabeth yelled, standing up from the table. "You're talking about child abuse and making it into some sort of joke! It's-"

Veritas rolled her eyes and waved her hands before all the demigods went silent. Anytime they tried to speak, nothing would come out. "I'm getting tired of all these distractions. Besides, I'm not the one turning serious things into jokes. Leo's the one going around laughing and smiling when he is miserable." She gestured to the boy in front of her defensively. "Anyway, so after you ran away, you got caught, and put into another foster home. You're still angry at the cops who found you, they didn't send you back, but didn't report your adoptive father either. Shame, he was a pretty big liar too, I would have loved to see some justice served, but I'll just have to wait until he dies for that." More papers were thrown into the air.

"Ugh, all the foster care stuff is so repetitive. They don't feed you enough, you run away. You make friends with an older girl, she becomes a sister like you've always wanted, she leaves for college, you run away. The other kids pick on you, you run away. You make an actual genuine friend and everything is fine, you run away because you feel that bad things happen whenever you care about someone so you should just run away before you hurt people. Wow, you just love running from your problems, don't you. That's a very unhealthy coping mechanism, but whatever.

"Ah yes, the Wilderness School. You want to know what really happened? You got third wheeled before Jason even got there, when it was just you and Piper. You would make her laugh and help her with her math homework and you almost came close to opening up to her, actually telling her the truth about something, but she would blow you off. Not even to go hang out with another boy." She morphed her voice again to match Piper's. "'Sorry Leo, I've just got too much homework.' 'Sorry Leo, I have a headache and I can't hang out tonight.' You were the outcast before you were the odd number in the group! Isn't that hilarious?

"And how about this? Your first thought when you found out that Jason didn't remember anything was 'I could see him forgetting who I am, but to forget Piper?'" She laughed as Leo flinched at the sound of his own voice coming from her. "And then how you harped on and on about being a fire user. 'Nyssa said fire-users are dangerous, and look at me, I've already hurt my mother, who's next?'

"And then the _dragon_. I've never heard someone beat themselves up so much over a piece of _machinery._ 'It's all my fault. I destroy everything I care about. I'm so useless, I can never fix what matters.' Pfft. And of course, how could I forget the love interests? You kept falling in love at first sight, only to be disappointed when you couldn't be with them. You had that crush on Khione, and of course Thalia, a hunter no less. I think you may have a thing for girls you could never be with because of some sick desire to punish yourself or something. Or maybe you're desperate for anyone that's not currently taken, desperate for _someone_ to give you attention, and you just have bad luck when you set your eyes on a woman to give you that. Either way it's a little pathetic.

"And the Argo II. That project nearly killed you. You hardly ate, hardly slept, spent every moment working, passing out on the job more than once. And every day Annabeth would come down and worry about the deadline. You acted like that job was going to make up for everything you've ever done wrong, nearly killed yourself working on it, and at the end you didn't feel any better about yourself. Not for long anyway."

She was silent for a moment and this scared Leo most of all. He looked up, tears streaming down his face. He screamed when he saw what she had gotten out of the file cabinet, quickly realizing he must be the only demigod she hadn't muted.

"That was destroyed! I even burned it before I left the Argo so no one would even find it in the wreckage. How do you even have that?"

"All things of truth end up in my realm, even your little journal of angst from the journey." She gave a cruel smile and it made Leo plead more.

"Please, stop, I'll do anything, just don't show them this." He had his hands together, begging against all hope.

"Will you tell them everything yourself?" She waited, nothing but silence as a reply. "Didn't think so." She moved her hands and suddenly the journal was enlarged, big enough for all to see. "This was little Leo's diary on his days of the journey. She flicked a finger and the cover of the giant floating book was opened. Inside was a messy scrawl.

"I'll read aloud too for some of you more dyslexic folks, and of course this kid's writing is hard to read even for the best of us" She cleared her throat. "'I thought this quest would be a chance to redeem myself. Turns out I can't do anything right. Now everyone hates me because I started a war between the camps. Now whoever gets hurt- it'll be my fault. I already hurt Jason, he and Piper are going to hate me now. I don't even deserve to be on this quest. I'm no good for anything. All I was really needed for was finding Bunker 9. After that, the other Hephaestus kids could have made this ship, probably better than I did. They would have found a way to fix Festus. They would have been strong enough to resist whatever made me fire on that camp. I'm no good to these heroes. I'm garbage. They'd be better off if I died. At least then I wouldn't hurt anybody.' Wow, pretty dramatic. And look!" She flicked her finger, going through pages and pages that just had one word written on them- "USELESS". Some pages had tears in the paper and most had shavings of lead all over because he was practically _grinding_ the pencil into the paper. The tearstains were still there too, and parts were singed from where he got too emotional.

"And of course, you didn't write it down in here, but what did you do later that night? Think about jumping off the Argo? You didn't of course, because Piper came up just as you were about to climb over the railing, but it could have happened." She shrugs. "And then your little trip to visit Nemesis. That was fun, wasn't it? 'You will always be the outsider, the seventh wheel. You will not find a place among your brethren.' And Hazel was trying to tell you she was wrong, but you brushed her off and insisted you were fine. Maybe that's why Nemesis was right. You won't find a place among your brethren because you always push them away. Maybe you're not even looking for a place. They will always count you as a friend but you will insist to yourself that they deserve better or something silly like that. That's what's making you the outsider." She paused, taking a moment to appreciate her own words. "Damn, that was some philosophical shit right there. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.

"You put on that whole 'Team Leo' show, partly to get the celestial bronze, but let's be real, it was mostly some frantic attempt to get Hazel to believe that you didn't agree with Nemesis, so she wouldn't ask questions. Alright, back to your diary." She skipped over a few pages. "That's just him bitching about Nemesis, we went over that already. Ah! Here!" She pointed in delight as she started to read. "'So apparently I was possessed by something called an eidolon when I fired on the other camp. Percy and Jason were possessed too, today, and almost killed each other. I'm sure, though, that they would have been strong enough to stop it before doing any real harm. Not like me. I was too weak to stop the war from happening. It's my fault. This is why I fall face-first onto the floor while Jason and Percy are caught by someone. They have someone to care about them, I don't deserve that. I should have been stronger…"

She flipped the page to the next day's journal "Oh boy! More angst! 'I screwed up with Hazel today. I shouldn't have suggested that Nico was working with the enemy. She probably hates me for suggesting that about her brother. I should have trusted that she knew him well enough. She certainly knows more than me, I'm just too stupid. I shouldn't even talk, it just seems to annoy everyone.'" She flipped the page again. 'Great! Well Frank seems to hate me! I knew he wasn't a fan, but I didn't think he would DROP ME FROM THE SKY. I wonder why he dislikes me so much. I mean, I get it, I'm annoying, but to want me dead? Look, I pick on him a lot, but I would have figured he knew I was joking. Like the thing with how many Franks I was worth. It's obvious he's worth more than me, anyone on this ship is. And he seems to be jealous of me when Hazel spends time with me. That's absurd, Hazel would never be interested in me when she has a perfectly not-terrible boy right in front of her.'

"Oh, this one's nice! 'So today Hazel showed me her memories of my great-grandfather, who apparently looks exactly like me. I guess that's why she tolerates me. She expected me to be like him as well, not some shitty imposter who wasn't as smart, cool, or funny. Guess that was a huge disappointment. Then, to top things all off for the day, I screwed up again and almost got people killed. I didn't switch the sonar on, and if I had been paying attention instead of playing around this never would have happened. It was only luck that saved us, and I can't leave their fates up to luck again. I have to work harder from now on. But I'll tell you, one thing happened that wasn't too bad. Frank doesn't seem to completely hate me anymore. I almost suffocated because of starting a fire in a thin air bubble, and he didn't really care that much but after that we got a chance to talk. As it turns out, he has a pretty good reason to hate me. Besides the whole Hazel thing. His life is connected to a piece of firewood, and he dies when it burns. I don't blame him for avoiding me, I manage to wreck everything so how would I possibly be able to handle something as delicate as that?'"

She flipped through the pages again. "Sorry, trying to avoid the boring and repetitive stuff, don't want to take all day. So many lies being told right now, I have to really work to catch up later as it is. Here, some angst about Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus. 'I can't seem to stop screwing things up for everyone around me. If only I was smart enough to figure out how to save Frank and Hazel without using the fortune cookie, Percy and Annabeth would be safe. Nico says they aren't dead, that we'll still meet up with them and get them out, but I basically tossed them into Hell. That's unforgivable, I don't care if they make it out in a few days, I don't see how they would ever want to look at me again. I thought when I used that fortune cookie it would be me who would pay the price, and I was prepared to do anything it took as long as it saved Frank and Hazel. Why should Percy and Annabeth pay the price? I deserve to be rotting in Tartarus, not them. Can't dwell on that now, though, I have to do the one thing I can do right now. Fly the ship towards the Doors of Death.'

"Blah, blah, blah, overdramatic whining about some dream that almost killed him, where some sorceress or whatever wanted him to jump off a cliff. Of course, he would have wanted to jump, but his crew needs him, yada yada, so this chick starts trying to kill him and he wakes up just in time. Yeah, he told you guys about most of that dream, but how about how he barely slept between the time he had that dream and when he got shot off to Ogygia? He dozed off once or twice only to have a sorceress work on killing him before he woke up, so he decided to try to avoid it. Of course, he didn't come to you about that, you had enough on your minds and you 'didn't seem to care too much' when he mentioned she started to attack him in the first dream.

"Oh no, Calypso. Thank the gods he didn't have his journal _with_ him on that island, there's enough brooding in here from after he returned. 'I landed on some island only to have a beautiful girl start yelling at me. I thought she was obnoxious at first, but I really couldn't blame her. She was cursed by the gods to be alone on her island except for attractive heroes she would instantly fall in love with before needing to send them away, and then after she was supposed to be freed some ugly annoying kid shows up and she can't get rid of him. She called me a mistake, which is more accurate than she'll ever know. She somehow managed to put up with me eventually, and of course I started to fall for her. And I think she may have loved me back, by the end, or at least convinced herself she did. How could she, though? Anyways, when I had to leave her on the island, I just had to make a promise to her. I swore on the River Styx to come back for her, which is supposed to be impossible, but I have to do it. She doesn't deserve to stay on that island. Well, I guess we know what the oath to keep with the final breath is. Hey, that might mean I am almost certainly going to die, but at least it also means I'll find a way to get her out.' How sweet. I'm practically gushing." Veritas rolled her eyes.

"Man, I thought this journal would be a good idea, but this is just taking so long. I'll sum up the rest. 'Boo hoo, I'm useless because I couldn't fight that giant Clytius like I was supposed to, I'm so weak! Boo hoo, look how miserable Percy and Annabeth are, all because of me!' Then, just basic angst after he got rid of the journal. 'How could I have used the Physician's Cure on myself when so many other campers died? So selfish, blah blah blah.' Now, Leo, can you do one thing to make it up to me and tell them the biggest secret you've been keeping?" She lifted his head to look at her. "Pretty please?"

Leo sighed, he didn't see any other option. He got to his feet, and tried to choke out the words. "I- I had a dream- the first night that I got back from Ogygia. Hades visited me. He said- he said he can't tolerate people blatantly cheating death anymore, that he had to make an example or everyone will start doing it. He told me that when I died next time I would be sent straight to- to- to-" He swallowed. "To the Fields of Punishment."

Many mouths dropped, and Veritas glared at Leo, telling him to continue. "Ever since I've been having nightmares, I think he's sending them, and I'll be tortured in a different way each night and-" He choked on his words "I thought I did some good on the quest, I thought with fighting Gaia I wouldn't be see as a total monster who kills his own mother and starts wars between camps, I- I didn't think I would deserve eternal punishment, I thought I finally did something good and _I _was good and-"

He collapsed into sobs and his friends came forward to comfort him but he smacked them away. Veritas grinned and waved her hand again and suddenly the voices of the other campers worked again and it went from silence to chaos.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry I took so long to post a chapter. I'm sorry the chapter is super short. ok now**

**catsrawesome yeah tbh i just got really lazy in that chapter (*cough cough* and this one but the next u get to see lots of ppl and reactions to individual pieces of Leo's past)**

**mondmaedchen i may take a long time between posts and i may post really short things once in a while but i promise i will not abandon this story**

**killua ok there will be a thing where everyone goes super pissed down to hades but that is not now (i don't want to give anything away but spoilers hades gets everyone even angrier than they are)**

**melancholy's sunshine ah yes i cannot wait to write angry hera, but alas, that is at least 6 chapters away**

**also sorry i stuck an oc inthe last chapter (though veritas is the roman god of truth so at least we have that) i just really needed a goddess of truth to get all Leo's angst out. i know how annoying ocs can be and i promise she won't appear again (unless u want her to for some reason)**

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At first he didn't hear words, only a collective roar of the crowd. He started to feel dizzy as his legs gave out again. He felt arms grab him under the shoulder so he wouldn't fall, but he no longer had the strength to fight. The sensation felt uncomfortably familiar, being unable to escape, and he started gasping for air as he felt the ghost of a knife scraping across his skin. He couldn't breathe, the noise was becoming too much, until he could make out one distinct voice.

"Leo, calm down, breathe, Leo, just-" There was a pause. "WILL EVERYBODY SHUT UP?" The room went silent. "Come on Leo, listen to me, look at me, breathe in… breathe out… breathe in…" This continued for a while until Piper finally calmed him down enough that she trusted she could turn her focus elsewhere for a moment. She look to Jason and Percy, who had ran to grab Leo before he fell. "Let go of him, let him down gently, and give him some space." They did as they were told and Leo slowly sunk into a sitting position. She turned to look at the crowd behind her. "Now, everyone who isn't a part of the seven leave now. Except for Ni- where's Nico?" She directed this question at Will Solace.

"You know where he went." He gave a grimace, he still didn't want his boyfriend shadow traveling yet, but he couldn't deny that it was necessary. Nico needed to have a conversation with his father as soon as possible.

Piper sighed. "Of course." She looked down for a moment. "I kind of needed him here right now, I have the feeling he would have known more about how to relate to him, but-"

Will gave a small smile. "You can't stop a man on a mission. Now go do your mission. I have to go, I wasn't as close to him as-"

"Give an IM to Calypso. Tell her to get down here. His cabin mates too."

"Right." He turned and left.

Piper finally focused her attention on the task at hand. Leo was curled into a ball crying silently, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"Leo-" She paused because she had no clue where to start. After that onslaught of information, where does she begin? "We all love you, and we just want you to be okay. You're not worthless, not by a longshot. You held us together during the quest. We would have broken down and given up if you weren't keeping our spirits up. And you defeated Gaia, for gods' sakes! Not to mention the ship, Leo, only you could have made that. You're a genius, and you're my little brother, and I love you. Please-" She reached out a hand to put on his only to be scorched. She let out a small shriek as she withdrew. He wasn't on fire but he was definitely too hot to touch.

"Sorry." He said miserably, bursting into flames. "Sorry, oh gods, I ruin everything." He started to get up and back away, but was suddenly embraced by someone. "STOP, GET AWAY FROM ME, I DON'T WANT TO BURN YOU!" He shoved the body away from him to find his friend unharmed with the exception of his clothes. "Jason, I- How did you-"

"Lightning is hotter than the surface of the sun, Valdez, I can handle a little heat sometimes." He gave a small smirk.

"Did you know you wouldn't get burned?"

"Lucky guess." He shrugged. "It was worth it. You can't run away from us, Leo. We don't care about any of that stuff. Well, we do, in the sense of we don't want you to be suffering through it, but none of it changes our opinion of you. You're still our best friend. You have to believe me, and if you don't right now, it's okay. But we're going to spend every day working to make you believe it, alright? Just- don't run away. We're going to get through this, together."

Leo started to sob as Jason brought him into his arms again and the others joined in. It was about fifteen minutes later when he finally looked up. "Where did Nico go?"

* * *

"Dad!" Nico yelled, having shadow-travelled to the Palace of Hades not two seconds after Leo finished his last confession. "Dad, you are going to talk to me, right now."

His father appeared before him. "What is the matter now, I was just-"

"Sending my friends off to the Fields of Punishment? I know."

"What- oh. This is about that Leo child, isn't it?"

Nico made an almost inhuman growl in the back of his throat. "Don't act as if you've done nothing wrong. You condemned a hero to eternal torture for no good reason, and before he even died."

Hades sighed. "But you see, it _was_ after he died the first time. And he blatantly cheated death, I can't just start being the pushover god, when someone enters my kingdom as one of the dead, they aren't supposed to leave alive. The sea can dry up, the clouds can give way to clear skies, but nothing can make death go away. That's the one thing I have over them. Death is the most inevitable and permanent thing. When I allow someone to come back to life, or allow an exchange of lives, it is considered a miracle. If everyone starts doing it without my permission, I become a joke."

"What about when the Doors of Death were open? How many people escaped death then?"

"They were taking advantage of their circumstances. None of them actually opened the doors themselves so they could escape death. Valdez plotted against me, against his fate. And he would have ended up in Punishment anyway because at the time of his first death he had an unfulfilled oath sworn on Styx. You know how these things go."

"If I know Valdez I know that he would have made sure Calypso got off that island whether or not he was alive."

"You don't know that, it's only a guess. And if he did, he would have been released as soon as it was fulfilled, but as he had to go against me to do it, I will not have him get off so easily."

Nico had a million things he wanted to yell at Hades. Insults, swears, anything that could offend. Yet all that came out of his mouth was a soft "Please, he's my friend."

Hades almost looked regretful for a moment before he regained his composure. "And how long have you known him? More importantly, what did you even know about this boy? If you were such good friends, he must have told you everything about him, right? That's why you showed up here _months_ after he returned, because you're so close that he tells you everything _immediately_, right? And-"

Nico winced. The words hit a little too close to home. "Stop."

Hades did no such thing. "You need to learn that I can't make exceptions every time you have a friend. I care about you, but I am a god. You can't just meddle in my affairs."

Nico stayed silent for a long time, thinking. "What if- what if he didn't cheat death?"

Hades sighed, curious as to what the boy had come up with. "How would that be possible?"

Nico explained. "A soul for a soul would be fair, would it not? What if someone sacrificed themselves to make up for you losing him?"

He scratched his chin. "It could be possible, but after this amount of time I won't take just any soul. I want a soul I am likely to never get otherwise. A willing immortal soul."

Nico was almost ashamed how fast his thoughts went from sacrificing himself to a certain other person. "If I got you an immortal soul, Leo can go to Elysium?"

"If he is judged as a hero, as I'm sure that will be the case. But whoever sacrifices themselves, I'm afraid, will not end up there. It's not really a sacrifice if you end up in paradise, now is it?"

Nico grimaced. "Asphodel?"

"Fine, I'll give the sacrifice Asphodel, just to do you a favor. Although it's still not much of a punishment for immortals, their spirits don't fade there in the way a mortal's would. Still, I guess it's miserable enough to constitute a sacrifice. Go, now, if you have the soul within a week, I will allow the sacrifice to go through and forgive your friend." Hades swished his hand and Nico was back at Camp Jupiter, surrounded by the seven all huddled around Leo, all of them with tears staining their cheeks. Nico's stomach dropped as he realized what he had agreed to. They weren't going to enjoy hearing this.


End file.
